Thanksgiving talk 2015
Today Chip and I talked in church about gratitude. Here are the remarks I wrote:
Share experience about car trIp home with little girls
Christmas 1982, clairice 2 ½, Britta 9 months
old car - 1970 Plymouth Satellite
We had made a surprise trip home to Sidney for christmas and brought my brother and his wife who were going to school in Bozeman at the time.
way back to Logan we stopped and dropped off my brother and his wife and spending the night at their teeny tiny married student housing apartment and were almost to Big Sky when our car made a horrible noise
We knew we had to stop at Big Sky and see what it was
At that time Big Sky consisted of a restaurant/bar, a laundromat and a garage
We stopped at the garage and the mechanic looked at it and announed it was wheel bearing
He could fix it but couldn't get the part from bozeman until the next day
Spent the day with the babies at the laundromat. Not fun.
Mechanic gave the 4 of us a ride back to my brothers apartment where we spent a 2nd night on a cold linoleium floor.
Mechanic picked us back up in the morning with the part and we all went back to spend a 2nd day at the laundromat while he fixed the car
Later in the day the car was fixed and we were all packed back up in our car and pulling out of the garage when the guy started flagging us down! I was like, Chip, just keep driving, don't stop!!
The mechanic could see that wheel was crooked and the wrong part had been put in the car and it had to be fixed.
We all drove back down to my brothers tiny apartment for the 3rd night in a row with our babies in the mechanic's car - I don't think my brother was especially happy to see us all again - and then back up to Big Sky the next morning for a 3rd day at the laundromat.
Later that day the car was fixed (and we had maxed out our credit card and cleaned out what little we had in savings)and driveable and we were headed back to Logan.
I felt so grateful and happy that we had finally made it home safely!
One of the very first things we did when we got back to Logan was dump that old green Plymouth and buy a new Toyota Tercel. For weeks and months after that stressful and unpleasant experience I thanked God for our little Tercel that was dependable and never left us stranded!
I was unhappy, frustrated and unpleasant a good part of these 3 days. I did not handle this situation well
In the scheme of things this is a minor inconvenience and a funny story AFTER it happens. We all have days like this - the cookies burn, your kid tells you the night before its due he has to do a science project, etc.
Many things are much more serious anad are never funny
Day Chip came home when I was pregnant with Jessie, our 4th and announced a bunch of people were laid off.
Chip looks in the mirror and notices he has a lump on one side of his throat and it turns out to be cancer
Many of you have been through much more serious things than this - things that tear your heart out.
Nevertheless, this is part of life isn't it? We all experience heartache, pain, sorrow, frustration and unhappiness - some because of our own actions and some because of others. No one gets through life scott free and without suffering.
a wise woman, a BYU professor said
I have learned that, regardless of circumstance, for some people there is no joy; for others there is only joy. Some of us experience catastrophe in our lives; others create catastrophe in our lives. For some, there are a few bad days; for others there are only bad days.
What makes the difference?
1. We must make the decision to be happy! How can we make the decision to be happy when things are just not going well or we are facing trials and difficulty? Can we choose to be happy?
Let me give you an example of how we can: If you are having an argument with your spouse or yelling at your kids and all the sudden the doorbell rings, what do you do? Put on happy face and go to the door and say hello! You act pleasant! You chose to change your attitude - just like that!
Here's another example: Let's say I offered you $10,000 a week to not be in a bad mood and act happy. Could you do it! I bet you could and would!
We've all heard the expression “Fake it till you make it.” Act happy, and you’ll be happier.“
It is How we act that affects others, not how we feel.
Does your happiness affect others? Ask a child that grows up in a home with an unhappy parent. Ask a spouse that lives with an unhappy mate. Ask a person that works day in and day out with an unhappy coworker. We may not be free to control whether we feel happy all the time, but we can control whether we act happy present a happy countenace to others regardless of our circumstances. I think this part of
Alma 5:14
14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
The decision to be happy is reflected in our countenance.
Most of our trials come to us unsolicited. We surely haven't aske for them but we do have the agency to choose our attitude towards them.
Abrahm Lincoln said "We are as happy as we decide to be”
Why am I talking about happiness when I was asked to talk about Gratitude? Because they go hand in hand.
After you make a decision to be happy and find joy in any circumstance then the next step is to be grateful. Gratitude is the gateway to happiness and joy.
one of my favorite authors Dennis Prager said:
“All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.”
President Uchtdorf: It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.… . We can choose to be like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who, while a prisoner in miserable conditions in Liberty Jail, penned these inspired words: “Dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” … . Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
D&C 78:19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
Gratitude is a decision just as is happiness. Something changes in our countance when we decide to feel gratitude and to be happy. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.”
When you make a decision to be happy and grateful you look different. People look better to you. Life looks better to you and you look better to those around you. You reflect happiness and gratitude back to those you live and associate with and make their lives better. You become a light to to others and magnet for good things.
I have a dear dear friend of many years whose life did not go down the path she thought it would. She wanted marraige and children and that didn't happen for her. We often talked about why Heavnely Father made her go through this and why was this happening to her? Over the years there were lots of tears and sorrow and often a negative attitude about the church and families and what she was lacking in her life and the thought that she couldn't be happy because of her circumstances. Thankfully this changed! She started reading some talks, and books about the power of choice and choosing to be happy and grateful for the blessings you have and stop compaining and feeling sorry for yourself. A marvelous change occured! Her attitude and countenace became happy and positive and she stopped feeling sorry for herself and started feeling grateful for her many blessings! Amazingly, she has been blessed with an abundance in so many areas of her life that she never expected. I truly believe that all these blessings were waiting for her but didn't come until she looked at her life differently and made a conscious decision to feel gratitude and to be happy.
President Monson:
We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
Close by expresing my gratitude for my Savior Jesus Christ, who is the author of all blessings and happiness.
Christmas 1982, clairice 2 ½, Britta 9 months
old car - 1970 Plymouth Satellite
We had made a surprise trip home to Sidney for christmas and brought my brother and his wife who were going to school in Bozeman at the time.
way back to Logan we stopped and dropped off my brother and his wife and spending the night at their teeny tiny married student housing apartment and were almost to Big Sky when our car made a horrible noise
We knew we had to stop at Big Sky and see what it was
At that time Big Sky consisted of a restaurant/bar, a laundromat and a garage
We stopped at the garage and the mechanic looked at it and announed it was wheel bearing
He could fix it but couldn't get the part from bozeman until the next day
Spent the day with the babies at the laundromat. Not fun.
Mechanic gave the 4 of us a ride back to my brothers apartment where we spent a 2nd night on a cold linoleium floor.
Mechanic picked us back up in the morning with the part and we all went back to spend a 2nd day at the laundromat while he fixed the car
Later in the day the car was fixed and we were all packed back up in our car and pulling out of the garage when the guy started flagging us down! I was like, Chip, just keep driving, don't stop!!
The mechanic could see that wheel was crooked and the wrong part had been put in the car and it had to be fixed.
We all drove back down to my brothers tiny apartment for the 3rd night in a row with our babies in the mechanic's car - I don't think my brother was especially happy to see us all again - and then back up to Big Sky the next morning for a 3rd day at the laundromat.
Later that day the car was fixed (and we had maxed out our credit card and cleaned out what little we had in savings)and driveable and we were headed back to Logan.
I felt so grateful and happy that we had finally made it home safely!
I was unhappy, frustrated and unpleasant a good part of these 3 days. I did not handle this situation well
Many things are much more serious anad are never funny
Day Chip came home when I was pregnant with Jessie, our 4th and announced a bunch of people were laid off.
Chip looks in the mirror and notices he has a lump on one side of his throat and it turns out to be cancer
Nevertheless, this is part of life isn't it? We all experience heartache, pain, sorrow, frustration and unhappiness - some because of our own actions and some because of others. No one gets through life scott free and without suffering.
I have learned that, regardless of circumstance, for some people there is no joy; for others there is only joy. Some of us experience catastrophe in our lives; others create catastrophe in our lives. For some, there are a few bad days; for others there are only bad days.
1. We must make the decision to be happy! How can we make the decision to be happy when things are just not going well or we are facing trials and difficulty? Can we choose to be happy?
We've all heard the expression “Fake it till you make it.” Act happy, and you’ll be happier.“
Alma 5:14
one of my favorite authors Dennis Prager said:
We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
